Just Bumbling Around

I have arrived in Ontario a day before I have to start work and I have been determined to make something more out of my foreign work trips than I usually do. So I hopped in to my ridiculously small hire car, made even more amusing by the fact that everyone else is driving trucks, and drove down to the nearest place mentioned for walking in my Canada Lonely Planet.

The lucky location was "Land 'O' Lakes" (whoever named that place was obviously from Yorkshire). I went armed with my DSLR camera, but quickly found out that for some reason it had rejected my memory card so I could only store around 15 pictures on the internal drive.

Also my work laptop doesnt have any facility to edit photos (well actually thats a lie, I just couldnt be bothered to figure out how), and those swines in IT have blocked Flickr access recently (though for some reason have missed Blogger). Oh the trauma of communication!

After acquiring a map from the provincial park centre (which looked a little like Huddersfield public toilets) I spent the first part of the 12km walk wandering around thinking that the scenery could just be straight out of a Yorkshire woodland. Apart from the effing massive dragonflies that seemed to be everywhere of course.


Just when I was tutting to myself, thinking that this Canada place was nothing special. In fact it was a little like the wood at the back of the house I grew up in. I was startled by a startled deer (startledness all around)!

This is normal fayre in the woodlands of England of course, in fact, due to my chronic unattentiveness, usually I dont spot the deer and somebody has to point it out to me ... then they have to spend several minutes explaining where the damn thing is in reference to that there Sycamore tree in the distance ... then they have to describe what a Sycamore tree looks like ... then maybe I will see it.

But, there was no missing this bugger. Oh no. Thats because it was the size of the 310 double decker bus to Homfirth. Ah so thats the difference between England and Canada. Size.

I couldnt catch the damn thing with my camera, despite the fact it was in my hand at the time (the camera not the deer). But it was around this bit somewhere:

I spent the rest of the walk looking out for bears and suchlike, and panicing about various strange insects landing on me, in much the same way as I used to do with the spiders and cockroaches in Australia.

Its funny how different English speaking nations live in such different environments and find them normal. Aussies couldnt fathom my obsession with kangaroos and kookaburra's, yet some get excited by badgers and foxes.

I had one Italian friend who was obsessed with taking photos of sheep (I am sure they must have sheep in Italy?).

Out of the Frying Pan, into the Damp

On Tuesday I got back from my walk along the Cumbria Way with my Brother Dan, Craig (who I will from henceforth refer to as "The Walking Binliner", as he wanted a special name) and several other of their friends. I was going to post something up here about the delights of trekking through the Lake District, but I think Dan pretty much has it covered. Besides which - since my accident with my camera a few weeks ago, I am unable to easily take photographs and have no visual record of the event.

Tomorrow I am travelling once again to Canada for work. Its funny the jealousy I get in the office. I think they believe that its all 5 star hotels, limos, glorious sunshine and frolicking around when working abroad. When really it is losing two weekends to travel and working extra long hours for no extra pay or time off.

Lucy even said to me 'at least you will get a tan!'. I have tried to explain that when I am not wokring in a factory, I am sitting bored in my hotel room watching Simpsons and Family Guy repeats. She still doesnt seem to understand.

Not that I begrudge it - I am getting vast amounts of experience on the job, working in different environments, so I will always volunteer. But it is still work!

On the subject of travel, I have recently set some clevel little widgets up on iGoogle, which allow me to see weather in different parts of the world. I couldn't help but notice this:

Where I live:

Where I am travelling to:

Bugger.

A brief pause...

It been a little while since I posted on the blog. I put this down to the fact that I just bought the classic collection of Sharpe on sale from HMV, 16 or so of which they are. Each 2 hours long.

I have become somewhat addicted to Sharpe. Spending my every spare moment trying to squeeze in half an hour or so. For that I apologise.

On Saturday I am off on the Cumbria Way and the weather looks pretty nice. This is a little annoying since I invested a significant amount of money in waterproofs after my last adventure. Oh well if there is one thing you can be sure of in England, its rain.

Other interesting news has come to light just tonight. My good friend the Rockstar and his band, have landed a gig in July supporting Echobelly (think back to the 90's, cheesy indie rock - thats the one)!

I used to have a serious crush on the lead singer in my youth.

So I leave you with 'Great Things':

No. 4: The Pennine Way Part I

Recipe for Sticky Soggy Camera:

1. Take 1 trouser pocket
   
2. Add 2 packets of boiled sweets of your choice
   
3. Add 10 gallons of rainwater
   
4. Walk around a lot
   

Luckily I managed to dry the thing out a bit, and although still a little sticky, I recovered my photos from the Pennine Way:

Day 1 - Edale to Crowden (16 miles) taking in Kinder Scout and Bleaklow

Four of us were supposed to set out on the first day, however this was quickly reduced to two when The Nurse and his brother Mark missed their train from Sheffield (apparently unaware that platform 2 and platform 2c are actually different locations). Due to the inadequacy of public transport, this put the boys 2 hours behind me and The Tank. 

The Bottom of Jacobs Ladder

With no mobile reception, we set off slowly and thought it would be extremely entertaining to leave messages in the dirt for the chasing team which for some reason reminded me of the 90s show 'Challenge Anneka'

Graffitiing Kinder Scout Summit

What was even more amusing was the fact that the trailing team absolutely bust a gut to catch us up and we decided we should change our times to make it look like we were getting faster and faster. Apparently this destroyed their morale.

Day 2 - Crowden to some pub somewhere (11.5 miles) taking in Black Hill

After a nice campsite in Crowden we took a fairly easy route (via Black Hill and a timely bacon sandwich delivery form The Nurse's mum) to a pub near Marsden where the landlord let us stay out back for free. Unfortunately at this point we lost a good man. The Tank was retired by his Pediatrist girlfriend for officially having 'Foot Mank'. An impressive case of 'Foot Mank' to say the least.

Mark Surveys the Damage on Black Hill

Day 3 - Some Pub to Some Farm (17 miles)

We were joined by the City Worker and the Sergeant Major by day 3. The weather held out pretty good up to around lunchtime when we got a bit of a drenching. Though we managed a pub lunch so not all was lost. And a pub dinner which was a bonus as I was getting a little tired of supernoodles by this point.

Day 4 - Hebden Bridge to Cowling (14 miles)

The sun held out for us on this day and we had figured out a way to block out The City Worker's constant moans and protestations to get ourselves to a campsite which had actual working showers and everything!

A Building on a Hill

Day 5 Hebden Bridge to Malham (17 miles)

The team expanded on this day with the addition of Lucy and a few of her friends. It was a long old flatish slog through some really nice lowland (we were bored of moors by this point) up to Malham.

The Wilson Brothers Prove that Fluorescent is Back in Fashion

Day 6 - Malham to Horton in Ribblesdale (via Pen-y-ghent)

Day 6 took in some wonderful views from Pen-y-ghent (one of the highest hills in the Yorkshire Dales). Only thing is, we didn't see any of the views. In fact we couldn't even see Pen-y-ghent, despite the fact that we were standing on it! It absolutely peed it down to the point where we were walking with our eyes almost shut because of the pain of the horizontal rain hitting us in the faces. I spend pretty much the whole day walking with a couple of millimeters of water in my boots which was fun!

No pictures on this day!

Posing for the Cameral on Day 5

A Letter to 16 Year Old Sam

I got back from my 6 day Pennine Way trip on Monday. I plan to write a long illustrated blog post all about it, however due to an extreme downpour on Pen-y-ghent (note: that linked picture is the first I have seen of Pen-y-ghent as I couldn't even see it when I was on it!) my camera got soaked and I am still a little afraid of turning it on in case it hasn't dried properly.

So I have chosen another subject - whilst perusing the guardian online, I came accross this article. A letter written by Stephen Fry to his 16 year old self, in response to one that he wrote 35 years ago addressed to his future self.

Whilst Fry has focussed his letter on understanding teenage emotion and past and present attitutes to gay rights. I began to think to myself - at the age of 28 (which I turn next week) what kind of practical offerings of advice would I give to my 16 year old self. I can think of quite a few:

1. Over the next 10 years or so, you will slowly come to realise that you hate night-clubs. You hate the music, the sweaty people, the freezing queues, the groping and the sticky floors. This will take you a very long time (and a lot of night club entry fees) to find out. Save yourself the hassle (and money) and dont bother going.
2. In around June 1999, when The City Worker tells you not to dive into the pool with the big sign saying 'no diving' because it is dangerous. Take his advice (as much as you dont want to) as this will save you years of dental hassle.
3. Your hair looks stupid and greasy. Shave it off! Unfortunatey you will go bald eventually as you had suspected, but shaving it now will mean that less people notice. However, do not bother shaving your face as the last 11 years have taught me that it will only grow back again.
4. Bet on Greece to win Euro 2004. You will get extremely good odds!
5. Study something at school / college / university that will actually lead to a job. Yes this means that you will have to get off your arse and go to the school careers centre (which, incidentally - you will not do for the next 10 years) and do a bit of research. But it is onyl half an hour!
6. On a fateful day in 2002 the Nurse will dare you to down an unknown drinks cocktail in the Courthouse. Do not, I repeat do not drink it. Bad things will happen!
7. It turns out that playing with metal figurines will not make you popular with the ladies as you had previously thought. I suggest you either abandon your geeky habits or at least keep them to yourself when in open conversation for the near future.
8. It also turns out that in order to be popular with the ladies, you have to talk to them. I realise that this currently goes against everything you have ever stood for. However I can truly recommend it.

I think that whole 'no regrets' thing is a pile of tosh!

Anyone else want to take up their own list?