On Hobbys

WARNING: THIS BLOG POST CONTAINS UNSUBSTANTIATED GENERALISATIONS

I was driving back from a business trip in London a couple of days ago with a work colleague of mine. We are both grumpy Yorkshiremen so we like to have a good moan and a whine when we get together. We usually put the world to rights through a strange process of mutual agreement and re-enforcement of each others views. A communal re-enforcement of views which is experienced by many men when left together with no supervision. Thats pretty much how wars start.

I think in that trip we solved all of the UK's problems relating to energy security, social housing and planning law in the space of only 3 hours which was good work. Next week we plan on tackling world peace and creating a Windows operating system that works. 

Our discussions turned as they usually do, to generally complaining about women and specifically that our women folk have the cheek to be different from us and to hold opinions which are not directly in line with our own.

We agreed that generally, the source of all of the issues which our women have (or we generally have) is rooted in their lack of a hobby. You see, men can't really get their head around how many women can get by without having any particular interest in anything. 

And more than that, men can't understand how, if women do have a hobby - they often aren't particularly bothered about being any good at it. They just don't care. If men have a hobby, they have to be the best at it, whether that is getting as many blog comments as you possibly can, or having a faster car than all of your mates, or going to the gym more than anyone else you know. We all feel we have to have a niche skill in something. Its in our nature.

By way of example, my colleague is obsessive about music and spends his weekends perusing record shops, attending hi-fi conferences or inspecting the home-made insulation on his specially converted garage sound-room. Whereas I spend my weekends in the gym, climbing or galavanting around hills somewhere (also obsessively).

We thought about this for a while and something struck us. What do our other halves do as soon as they get home from work? What do they spend their weekends looking at and what do their evenings revolve around.

The answer .... crap TV.

Both of our partners are completely obsessed with crap TV. Whether it be crap reality TV, crap talent shows, crap cooking competitions, or Kirsty and Phil helping Gerrard from Staines find the crappy 1 bedroom flat of his dreams - crap TV rules both of our homes. Lucy even likes to watch 'wedding TV' and more surprisingly 'wedding TV asia' which even my colleague thought was weird.

I have to say though, one programme in particular is the bane of my life. It serves absolutely no educational purpose (as some of the above may be argued is some bizarre roundabout way, to do), it is dragged out to lengths I cant even contemplate (one episode spanning an entire week), and I can't even bear to be in the room when it is on. Sound familiar?

Yes its 'Come Dine with Me'.

Basically if you haven't seen it, it involves a group of complete misfits who are never in a million years going to get on together, cooking for each other and generally falling out and providing mild entertainment of the worst variety. Actually that sounds a bit like Big Brother doesn't it?

Its on ALL the time.

However. 

I can't criticise 'Come Dine with Me' too much, for one reason. A bunch of friends and me (The Lawyer and The Nurse) have decided, with out girlfriends, to recreate the show in our houses using a video camera and everything. 

We were first this week. I have to say it was a little stressful as I am not too keen on people judging my Chicken Udon soup.  With actual pieces of paper with scores on and everything.

I am sure I will post the video up when it is all edited together. 

5 Years

On Sunday, it will be five years to the day since I first met Lucy. We celebrated by going away to the Spa town of Buxton for the day and aimlessly wandering around. Lucy then forced me to rediscover my artistic talent by making me do pottery painting. Which to be honest - wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!

On our third anniversary I was somewhere in Indonesia, and took some time out to write the story of how Lucy and I first got together (you can see part 1 and 2 here and here).

This year I thought that I would put pen to paper and describe our first date, lest too many years pass and I forget what happened...

It was 2004 and I was living in a house in Chapel Allerton in Leeds with my friends Stu, Mark and Robb. I had taken a few days off work and Mark and I had spent some time pretending we were students again.

Lucy and I had met a few days before at a tacky night club and I had done the uncool thing ant text her straight away the next day. Despite not following the correct delayed contact procedures, Lucy had agreed to meet up with me in a bar called the Arc close to Headingley.

Initially I was to go to her house and pick her up in a gentlemanly fashion, however her housemates (who at this point thought I was 40 years old - their memories being a little hazy from the club), advised Lucy that I shouldn't come to the house being as I was probably some kind of serial killer and plans were changed.

However, the main reasons I wanted to meet her at her house was that, embarrassingly I wasn't sure if I would be able to spot her straight away in a crowded bar. I changed tactic and decided that the best way around this would be to get there extremely early and stand by the bar, not catching anyones eye and staring straight ahead so that she would have to identify me. I sent her a text stating 'I am upstair at the bar' to put my plan in place.

Lucy apparently read the text whilst standing outside getting moral support from one of her friends from home. She finally plucked up the courage and came inside. I think I gave up my wall staring and turned around and looked just as she was walking up the bar. She looked amazing.

If I remember correctly she was wearing a kind of low cut green top that she had borrowed from one of her housemates, with a suitable short skirt to match. She was full of smiles, life and laughter. I recognised her instantly and my first feeling was pride. I was proud that I had managed to bag such a good looking girl the previous week, despite being barely able to stand up!

We exchanged pleasantries and I bought her a drink. I remember going to sit down in one of the booths near the corner. I think we were both nervous, but nerves affected us in different ways. Lucy tends to talk a lot and I tend to go quiet.

Lucy exploded into a tirade of questions 'sowhereareyoufrom?' 'whatdoyoudoinyoujob?' 'doyouhaveanybrothersandsisters?' 'whatkindofmusicareyouinto?' barely leaving me time to answer each one before moving on to the next.

We had a few drinks and both quickly calmed down and began to enjoy each others company. This is where Lucy spinned the largest lie she has told me during 5 years of our relationship. We were discussing music, and Lucy told me she was into all of these great bands and it turned out I was into the same bands too and we had so much in common!

Later I would discover that actually she likes 'Kelly Clarkson' and 'N-Dubz'.

We drank quickly and decided to move to this fancy new (at the time) basement bar next door called Trio. We began to really enjoy ourselves and I began, even at this early stage to realise I loved Lucy's company. She ordered shots as if to ease the nerves just that little bit more. I forget what they were, they could have been B52s or something similar. Probably cost us about £20 (in those days I didn't have a lot of cash). But I had decided we were going to make this a night to remember as soon as I had realised how much I liked being out with her.

We then decided to go to another of the new bars in Headingley by the name of 'The Box'. Similar in style, this place was generally full of Rugby players (and not proper rugby either) swilling lager and singling songs and I usually avoided it.

It was a couple of hundred yards away and we walked side by side along an empty back road to get there. I remember extremely clearly my heart jumping up into my throat as I decided grab Lucy's hand and hold it as we strolled along. She made no objection and she squeezed my fingers making my heart race again.

I can't remember what we were drinking in the Box, but I think we were in there for a while. She sat on a stool while I stood, listening to her talk. Watching her lips move and watching her smile. All I could think about was that I wanted to kiss those lips, but that I was such a gutless wimp that it was unlikely to happen.

I decided to go to the toilet (I am not even sure if I needed it) to gather my thoughts and pluck up my courage a little. I walked straight back out and straight up to her and reached for her face and kissed her. I was nervous about what her reaction would be, but it was good. In fact it was really good. I still think about it now.

I held her by the hand and exclaimed that we were getting a taxi into town. We went to some more bars, my favourite club in Leeds, 'The Hi Fi' (though we decided it was too loud and left) and a place near the corn Exchange, which I think was called Jakes Bar. I think it was the most fun I have ever had with a person on a night out.

We stayed out until past 3am (something which doesn't happen so often anymore!) and I bundled her into a taxi and said goodbye, having one of those 'singing in the rain' type moments, walking away, practically clicking my heels.

Happy in the moment.

I am not sure I believe in love at first sight, but I definitely knew that day that Lucy and I were a perfect match and would be together for some time. And I knew that I could definitely love her.

Which I do. Very much.

Financial Security at Last!

This week Lucy got a new job as an Assistant Clinical Child Psychologist or some such thing. This has made me immensely happy, not just because she can now pay her half of the rent, but also because its pay back for a massive amount of hard work.

3 or 4 years ago, she had left university with a fairly average degree. Actually it was a sociology degree ... sociology apparently having something to do with studying the inside of a pub. It probably wouldn't be too much of dis-justice to say that she was a little unfamiliar with hard work.

She was going from temp job to temp job and was devoid of direction, she had ideas of working in jobs in accountancy and HR and was encouraged towards them, but deep down she knew she wasn't suited to them. Like all graduates - at this stage she thought she would just walk straight into an amazing graduate job straight off the back of her 2.1 in sociology. She once said to me, 'I would rather get some graduate training than do a masters degree', I replied 'I did the masters degree to get on the bloody graduate training!'

Then one day she had an epiphany.

All her life she had wanted to be an educational psychologist, but didn't think she was good enough and thought the road would be too long and hard. But then she decided she was going to do it.

She enrolled on a masters course in Educational Psychology in Manchester and had a hard year working while I was out galavanting in Australia. Then she made it her goal to get on the PhD to become a psychologist. She learnt sign language, undertook volunteering, worked in a primary school where she pro-actively trained staff on psychology, set up interventions and obtained funding for one of Sheffields pioneering 'Nurture Groups'.

She had trouble with interviews and failed at the last hurdle on previous on previous job applications and in getting on the PhD course (a lot of psychology jobs an the PhD have up to 200 applicants). But she took on interview training, practised and practised and even did hypnotherapy for interview confidence. And eventually it all paid off! She is not on the PhD yet, but now she has her dream job, there is no hurry.

Everyone around her, friends and teachers in her school are telling her how jealous they are and how they want her job. I dont think they realise how much work it took. My advice to them is that they need to get of their backsides and do something about it like she did if that is what they want to do.

I am very proud.

This Can Only End Badly

After a really good day at my sisters wedding, about which I will post at some point in the near future - I got up super early to speed on up to the lake district for some climbing. 

I appear to have got in with a bad crowd at work, and have been tempted by some of the more hard-core outdoors enthusiasts amongst them to delve further and further into outdoor sports. Over the winter I will be undertaking a 5 day mountaineering course up in Scotland (and may potentially have to pay for the expensive equipment I will need by selling a kidney!), and I am getting more and more into my climbing.

In the lakes we did some multiple pitch climbing. I will attempt to explain what that means (though I am not completely sure myself). One person leads up on the rope, putting in safety gear along the way and being belayed from the bottom. The bottom person then follows being belayed from the top. Both people are now half way up the cliff face and repeat the process until all the way to the top.

We had three people, which made everything a little more complicated and made each climb pretty lengthy. To the point at which we had to abandon out second climb on the third pitch (and abseil down) to avoid having to walk home in the dark.

We all hauled our cameras up with us and tried to angle the lense such that is appeared we were doing much harder climbs than we were. This is my favourite of Graham (though if I had proper photo editing software, I am sure I could make it better):

Top 10 Movie Characters

Lucy is currently doing her hypnosis CD which is supposed to alter her mind so that she is no longer hungry and stops eating when she is full. If I have calculated this correctly, this should give me just enough time to respond to a meme in which my brother tagged me sometime in July. It was top 10 movie characters of all time (in all honesty, this will probably be the top ten movie characters I can think of right now): 

So here goes (in no particular order):

Randle Patrick McMurphy - One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

"They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman that takes me on is gonna light up light a pinball machine!"

Possibly a very obvious one, but I have to say one of my favourite hero's of all time, stretching back to when we had to read the book in GCSE English.

Steve Zissou - A Life Aquatic

"Ned, next time you have a brilliant idea, whisper it to me first. Otherwise I look like a sort of day-dream Johnny, you know?"

To be honest this could have been Lost in Translation or Broken Flowers. I absolutely loved Broken Flowers, but appeared to be the only person that did! I can't get enough of the deadpan style.

Marv - Sin City

"Ahh Jerks, they should have shot me in the head. And enough times to make sure too. Its so stupid. Everyone knows what's coming."

Another film in which I love the style for different reasons. And you can't bead Marv, indestructible, stupid but with a heart. I had trouble finding any decent clips though.

'The Bride' - Kill Bill

"Its mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality."

Not much to say about this one. Another character I love for style, Tarantino-esque lines and a bit of ass-kicking

Seth - Superbad

"I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing."

I have had a few problems with my Ipod, which means that I only have a few films which will copy onto it for my train journeys etc. Superbad is one of them and I have watched it a lot of times! I love Seth, but a Michael Cera character (e.g. in Juno, Arrested Development etc) could have been in there too.

Bigwig - Watership Down

"I can run. And I can fight!"

One from my childhood here. I loved Bigwig, my favourite by far. I always tend to favour the heavyweight second characters in films. 

Watership down was genius (although a little heavy for a kids film) And Bigwig was the toughest.

Couldn't find any good clips for this, just some wierf Bigwig tribute video.

Richard Sharpe - Various Sharpe Episodes 

Just wanted to add this one in quickly (though it is not technically a film character, it rates right up there for me! 

Turns out I didnt have enough time for ten, and having used up all of my free time credits for the week yesterday. Lucy is demanding that I go and watch some crappy TV with her, so I guess I will have to end the post here.

What do you reckon?