Saturday 31 October 2009

5 Years

On Sunday, it will be five years to the day since I first met Lucy. We celebrated by going away to the Spa town of Buxton for the day and aimlessly wandering around. Lucy then forced me to rediscover my artistic talent by making me do pottery painting. Which to be honest - wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!

On our third anniversary I was somewhere in Indonesia, and took some time out to write the story of how Lucy and I first got together (you can see part 1 and 2 here and here).

This year I thought that I would put pen to paper and describe our first date, lest too many years pass and I forget what happened...

It was 2004 and I was living in a house in Chapel Allerton in Leeds with my friends Stu, Mark and Robb. I had taken a few days off work and Mark and I had spent some time pretending we were students again.

Lucy and I had met a few days before at a tacky night club and I had done the uncool thing ant text her straight away the next day. Despite not following the correct delayed contact procedures, Lucy had agreed to meet up with me in a bar called the Arc close to Headingley.

Initially I was to go to her house and pick her up in a gentlemanly fashion, however her housemates (who at this point thought I was 40 years old - their memories being a little hazy from the club), advised Lucy that I shouldn't come to the house being as I was probably some kind of serial killer and plans were changed.

However, the main reasons I wanted to meet her at her house was that, embarrassingly I wasn't sure if I would be able to spot her straight away in a crowded bar. I changed tactic and decided that the best way around this would be to get there extremely early and stand by the bar, not catching anyones eye and staring straight ahead so that she would have to identify me. I sent her a text stating 'I am upstair at the bar' to put my plan in place.

Lucy apparently read the text whilst standing outside getting moral support from one of her friends from home. She finally plucked up the courage and came inside. I think I gave up my wall staring and turned around and looked just as she was walking up the bar. She looked amazing.

If I remember correctly she was wearing a kind of low cut green top that she had borrowed from one of her housemates, with a suitable short skirt to match. She was full of smiles, life and laughter. I recognised her instantly and my first feeling was pride. I was proud that I had managed to bag such a good looking girl the previous week, despite being barely able to stand up!

We exchanged pleasantries and I bought her a drink. I remember going to sit down in one of the booths near the corner. I think we were both nervous, but nerves affected us in different ways. Lucy tends to talk a lot and I tend to go quiet.

Lucy exploded into a tirade of questions 'sowhereareyoufrom?' 'whatdoyoudoinyoujob?' 'doyouhaveanybrothersandsisters?' 'whatkindofmusicareyouinto?' barely leaving me time to answer each one before moving on to the next.

We had a few drinks and both quickly calmed down and began to enjoy each others company. This is where Lucy spinned the largest lie she has told me during 5 years of our relationship. We were discussing music, and Lucy told me she was into all of these great bands and it turned out I was into the same bands too and we had so much in common!

Later I would discover that actually she likes 'Kelly Clarkson' and 'N-Dubz'.

We drank quickly and decided to move to this fancy new (at the time) basement bar next door called Trio. We began to really enjoy ourselves and I began, even at this early stage to realise I loved Lucy's company. She ordered shots as if to ease the nerves just that little bit more. I forget what they were, they could have been B52s or something similar. Probably cost us about £20 (in those days I didn't have a lot of cash). But I had decided we were going to make this a night to remember as soon as I had realised how much I liked being out with her.

We then decided to go to another of the new bars in Headingley by the name of 'The Box'. Similar in style, this place was generally full of Rugby players (and not proper rugby either) swilling lager and singling songs and I usually avoided it.

It was a couple of hundred yards away and we walked side by side along an empty back road to get there. I remember extremely clearly my heart jumping up into my throat as I decided grab Lucy's hand and hold it as we strolled along. She made no objection and she squeezed my fingers making my heart race again.

I can't remember what we were drinking in the Box, but I think we were in there for a while. She sat on a stool while I stood, listening to her talk. Watching her lips move and watching her smile. All I could think about was that I wanted to kiss those lips, but that I was such a gutless wimp that it was unlikely to happen.

I decided to go to the toilet (I am not even sure if I needed it) to gather my thoughts and pluck up my courage a little. I walked straight back out and straight up to her and reached for her face and kissed her. I was nervous about what her reaction would be, but it was good. In fact it was really good. I still think about it now.

I held her by the hand and exclaimed that we were getting a taxi into town. We went to some more bars, my favourite club in Leeds, 'The Hi Fi' (though we decided it was too loud and left) and a place near the corn Exchange, which I think was called Jakes Bar. I think it was the most fun I have ever had with a person on a night out.

We stayed out until past 3am (something which doesn't happen so often anymore!) and I bundled her into a taxi and said goodbye, having one of those 'singing in the rain' type moments, walking away, practically clicking my heels.

Happy in the moment.

I am not sure I believe in love at first sight, but I definitely knew that day that Lucy and I were a perfect match and would be together for some time. And I knew that I could definitely love her.

Which I do. Very much.

Saturday 17 October 2009

Financial Security at Last!

This week Lucy got a new job as an Assistant Clinical Child Psychologist or some such thing. This has made me immensely happy, not just because she can now pay her half of the rent, but also because its pay back for a massive amount of hard work.

3 or 4 years ago, she had left university with a fairly average degree. Actually it was a sociology degree ... sociology apparently having something to do with studying the inside of a pub. It probably wouldn't be too much of dis-justice to say that she was a little unfamiliar with hard work.

She was going from temp job to temp job and was devoid of direction, she had ideas of working in jobs in accountancy and HR and was encouraged towards them, but deep down she knew she wasn't suited to them. Like all graduates - at this stage she thought she would just walk straight into an amazing graduate job straight off the back of her 2.1 in sociology. She once said to me, 'I would rather get some graduate training than do a masters degree', I replied 'I did the masters degree to get on the bloody graduate training!'

Then one day she had an epiphany.

All her life she had wanted to be an educational psychologist, but didn't think she was good enough and thought the road would be too long and hard. But then she decided she was going to do it.

She enrolled on a masters course in Educational Psychology in Manchester and had a hard year working while I was out galavanting in Australia. Then she made it her goal to get on the PhD to become a psychologist. She learnt sign language, undertook volunteering, worked in a primary school where she pro-actively trained staff on psychology, set up interventions and obtained funding for one of Sheffields pioneering 'Nurture Groups'.

She had trouble with interviews and failed at the last hurdle on previous on previous job applications and in getting on the PhD course (a lot of psychology jobs an the PhD have up to 200 applicants). But she took on interview training, practised and practised and even did hypnotherapy for interview confidence. And eventually it all paid off! She is not on the PhD yet, but now she has her dream job, there is no hurry.

Everyone around her, friends and teachers in her school are telling her how jealous they are and how they want her job. I dont think they realise how much work it took. My advice to them is that they need to get of their backsides and do something about it like she did if that is what they want to do.

I am very proud.

Sunday 11 October 2009

This Can Only End Badly

After a really good day at my sisters wedding, about which I will post at some point in the near future - I got up super early to speed on up to the lake district for some climbing. 


I appear to have got in with a bad crowd at work, and have been tempted by some of the more hard-core outdoors enthusiasts amongst them to delve further and further into outdoor sports. Over the winter I will be undertaking a 5 day mountaineering course up in Scotland (and may potentially have to pay for the expensive equipment I will need by selling a kidney!), and I am getting more and more into my climbing.

In the lakes we did some multiple pitch climbing. I will attempt to explain what that means (though I am not completely sure myself). One person leads up on the rope, putting in safety gear along the way and being belayed from the bottom. The bottom person then follows being belayed from the top. Both people are now half way up the cliff face and repeat the process until all the way to the top.

We had three people, which made everything a little more complicated and made each climb pretty lengthy. To the point at which we had to abandon out second climb on the third pitch (and abseil down) to avoid having to walk home in the dark.

We all hauled our cameras up with us and tried to angle the lense such that is appeared we were doing much harder climbs than we were. This is my favourite of Graham (though if I had proper photo editing software, I am sure I could make it better):




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