How to Bypass NHS Waiting Lists

Last night I was down at the Foundry climbing wall with The Nurse. We've just started doing a bit of lead climbing being beginners and were attempting to tackle some of the overhangs.

For me, lead climbing is a bit more exciting down at the wall that you traditional top roping. Basically rather than being suspended all of the way up, you clip in as you go. The excitement comes with the fact that is you fall off - you fall down the distance to your last clip in point, and then that same distance again below the clip. And then you fall a little bit more if the guy who is belaying you is not really paying attention and has left a little bit too much slack in the rope.

The slight apprehension about what will happen when you eventually fall and smack into the wall makes you fear just that little bit more. And the fear makes you grip a little bit harder. It all adds to the rush!

At one particularly memorable point in the night I was belaying for The Nurse who was attempting a relatively easy climb, but on a relatively difficult overhang. He had already made significant progress and had fallen a couple of times. I was trying to maintain attention, but have to admit, was getting bored with slow progress and was probably diverting a little too much attention to climbers on the other walls.

The Nurse was about half way up the wall when he managed to get both his feet onto a rather large oval shaped hold. At this point he decided to make a relatively straightforward move and reach up for the next one. He extended his foot to get a little more height ... when ... POP! Not usually a good sign. The Nurse fell off and I lowered him down.

He seemed to be in a fair bit of pain. To be honest, the Nurse has a little bit of a history of injury. I used to play roller-hockey with him a number of years ago and he got injured so many times that he ended up acquiring a (very un PC, I am ashamed to say) nickname of 'Cripple' by which he was known in my mobile phone for many years. Most of the time he was just being a big wus in my experience. But something made me believe that it wasn't so this time.

It could have been something to do with the fact that he nearly puked in the middle of the climbing hall, or the masses of sweat, or the rather horrible swollen blue colour his left ankle had gone - but I sensed something might really be wrong.

So we went to the local minor injuries unit at A&E and something quite remarkable happened. We walked up to the desk and the receptionist took a few details. Name, age, etc. What surprised me was that when she got to 'occupation' - 'Staff Nurse', the ballgame changed.

Anyone familiar with NHS A&E department, will probably be familiar with that little board you often get. The one which shows waiting time. This usually flashes by at around 1.5 hours, sometimes 3 on a Saturday night. If you have a minor injury, you may be lucky to get to the front of the queue at all! OK, so its maybe not that bad, but I was certainly expecting a long night.

But apparently if you are a staff nurse, it seems you can completely bypass the queue, nevermind the heart attacks of the broken necks, get seen to immediately - and whats more bypass the x-ray queue as well and be back out of the hospital within about 35 minutes!

Bonus was that we managed to get out just before the kick off to the England - Germany game, and get a few beers (which the Nurse was adamant, increased the effect of his pain killers).

Only downside is that now I dont have anyone to climb with.

(oh -yeah and The Nurse has to have an operation which I guess is a downside too).