Friday 23 May 2008

The Last Time I had a Tear in My Eye (and wasn't drunk)

I had loads of titles running through my head for this post - "The Surprise of My Life", "A Long Lost Love", "ETL -12 hours" and other, more soppy ones which I can't remember now because my head hurts...


The last time I had a tear in my eye was last night at approximately 8pm.

I was meeting some friends in The Argyle in The Rocks in Sydney. Most of them were late. I grabbed a beer with my American flatmate and hung around for a bit. Another friend came along and told us that 'Mr Pink' couldn't get in. This didn't surprise me as It was a bit of a yuppie paradise. The guys were all dressed like they were straight out of American Psycho, and the girls looked a little suspiciously like high class hookers. And let face it - Mr Pink looks like a hobo!

We left the place and went around the corner to a little cafe with a little blues quartet playing in the corner. We sat down outside (they call it winter here?!) and got some menu's. All pretty normal to me!

Then something very much out of the ordinary happened. I looked to my right and saw an extremely familiar face. Oh my god I couldn't believe my eyes!

Lucy was standing there clear as day! Looking hot with her long blonde curly hair down around her shoulders, wearing that 'surprise!' look that I know so well and love so much.

She had only gone and beaten me at my own blooming game! She had completely lied to me about when she was going to come out here and had shown up over 2 weeks early. This may not seem like such a big thing, but when you have been apart for 8 months and every part of you is aching for that two weeks to pass and suddenly it has ended, and the wait is over. Its a pretty big moment.

My reaction was something like the following:
  1. Complete disbelief. Apparently my jaw completely dropped and I looked completely confused when I first saw her. To be honest if I had walked past her in the street I think I would have thought it wasn't her and that I was imagining things, and that christ I really must miss her!
  2. Gobsmacked phase. Where I couldn't really think of anything to say. I just gave the biggest hug that I could.
  3. Happy phase. Just pure contentment.
  4. the 'oh yeah!' phase. This is the phase when I realised why so many weird things had happened over the last few days. Like everyone ensuring that I hadn't got any plans for the weekend, my flatmate going out with my workmates (he never does that - I thought he was trying to score with one of my friends), like the fact that Lucy refused to email me her travel itinery. Like my neighbour calling me at about 7pm for no apparent reason! "hello", "hi what you up to tonight", "just going for a drink with some friends  - do you want to come?", "no, just wanted to see what you are up to! See you" "er... ok, see you later".
So apparently Lucy arranged this whole thing from an email I sent in which I copied in someone from work, lets call her "The Cyclist". The Cyclist, in conjunction with my  neighbour  had somehow orchestrated the whole thing, and she was a brilliant liar I have to say! Lucy had apparently been in bed in my flat all day after landing that morning.

So today I am the happiest I have been in a long time. I have Lucy by my side again. Not just for a holiday. But for good ... and I am not going to let her go again.

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Wednesday 21 May 2008

ETL (Estimated Time Until Lucy) - 17 Days

In the absence of anything interesting to write about or any interesting way in which to write it, I thought I would give you a blow by blow account of all the things that I have been up to. Don't worry - if you get bored just fast forward to the comments section and write something generic like 'sounds great!' I don't mind - honest!

So on Friday it was my birthday. We headed out to the Opera bar. You can see the pictures on my Flickr account linked at the side of the page. I am the skinhead stubble ridden one that you are slightly attracted to (in case you dont already know me). Here is me having oh so much fun!

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On Sunday I went for my first ever Windsurfing lesson obtained for free from the rather attractive gentleman shown in the green top in my birthday photo. For me, windsurfing involves the consumption of a lot of seawater and on this occasion involved a serious blow to the head and one scary moment when I slipped over and one foot went either site of the mast. Other wise good.


Windsurfing = done.

I have also been preparing for Lucy's imminent arrival. I cleaned my sheets last month and this month I plan to vacuum the carpet. Next month I plan to kick out the Yank in the spare room. Its a ritual cleansing.

I honour of her landing, today I acquired a partner for the 'Silver Bullet' as shown in the picture below. I have yet to name it, but I am thinking maybe 'Bill' or 'John'. Lucy's belated birthday present. Its done a good 10 or 12 km with me today and rides pretty smoothly.

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Anyway, I have to go now because I have to get up at 4.30am to watch the Champions League Final (stupid time difference) and need my sleep.

Thursday 15 May 2008

Beers on Heads

So thats it. I'm 27 years old. There were no fireworks, no sudden enlightenment. Only an impending sense of doom. 


I got some very nice presents (the Thundercats DVD still hasn't materialized though), someone also baked a cake for me at work which was pretty cool (added to the chocolate that was sent to me in the post I am feeling pretty sick).

Tomorrow I go out to celebrate at the Opera bar (next to the Opera House unsurprisingly), pictured here on my last venture:

Not a bad venue to be spending your friday night I reckon. Very sophisticated and high class.

I have to say though that its on days like this that I miss gods country the most, I miss family, I miss friends, and Lucy obviously. I even created my first podcast with loads of Yorkshire artists on the other day, but still can't figure out how to upload it.

But most of all, on this day, on my birthday...

... what I wouldn't give for a good old game of cups in the Nook!

I've been trying to get these Aussies to play cups and do beers on heads in 'Rock Star fashion. But its not the same.

They're all off to Porto this year on holiday. I am very jealous. I will just have to go to Western Australia and New Zealand to  outdo them But in honour of them, I made this short video of our time in Valencia at the same time last year.



UPDATE: The neighbours brought more cake and a chocolate bar around. I think I may puke.

Tuesday 13 May 2008

The Blue Mountains II

Last time I went to the Blue Mountains I was a little underwhelmed with them. I decided to have another go at them this weekend and went up to Wentworth Falls. I have to say that I am glad I did as the route we took had much more impressive scenery:








Saturday 10 May 2008

In Which You Die of Boredom

Those of you who know me well will understand that I am completely impatient with technology. Rather than learning how to use a software package by using help menus and the like, I would much rather ask somebody (much to the frustration of people at work). 


One example of this is that I couldn't figure out how to work WordPress through I want to move my blog over to it - so I asked my brother to do it for me (though I hope he knows I am with-holding payment until it is complete). I also only just started to use a feed reader (is that what they are called?) which may surprise all of you blogging purists.

The point of this gibbering is that it took me a total of 5 months between me buying my Mac and me opening up IMovie and beginning to use it. Then I discovered that it was a brilliant! Perfect for IT illiterate sods like me who can't use a computer. 

So I made this slide show of my Indonesia trip and opened up a YouTube account  (I only figured out how to embed videos a week or so ago) which is linked somewhere on the sidebar. I wouldn't recommend watching it all of the way through because It will probably bore you to tears, but I thought some folk might like it. Oh, and I apologies for the YouTube picture being cut off at the end - I couldn't be arsed to figure out how to get the whole picture on.

Next challenge, a podcast, though I have no idea what software to use. Any clues?



Completely randomly, The Artist also sent me this. I thought it was kind of funny.

ETL (Estimated Time Until Lucy) - 28 Days

When I last saw Lucy, she was 23 and I was 26. Its my birthday next week and the next time I see her she will be 24 and me 27.


27 years old! 

A few year ago I told myself I was no longer a graduate. I could no longer hang onto the fringes of my student life and live in places like Headlingley and Burley in dodgy student gigs.

Then my friends started settling down and living with their respective girlfriends. Hell two of them even got married and one has a second child on the way!

More recently I have noticed that the graduates at my work have started respecting me - which I didn't anticipate! they do things like ask me questions and listen to my answers. Then they actually do what I tell them to do! As if I know what I am on about!!

I am sitting here, drinking these weird pre-mixed alcoholic drinks that they love in Australia and thinking what have I achieved? Where did all the time go since I finished Uni?

My conclusion seemed to be that I have spent the last 4, no wait 5 years trying to achieve stuff. Some of the things I hoped to achieve a few years ago were; 
  • Earning my age in £. Which  though I have broken this, I would have scrubbed off the list if I knew what I know now;
  • Doing a job that I enjoy and that contributes to something other than myself. I think I do that, I do like my job for the most part;
  • Earning respect as an authority in what I do. Which is something that will hopefully come in time; and
  • Having great people around me including a wonderful girlfriend. I certainly have that
So what to do for the next five year? Set some more targets for achievements? Working for myself at some point could be a new target? 

No, I dont think so.

I think I am done trying to achieve things. the reason the last five years has gone so quickly is because I spent the whole of it looking forwards and judging myself on the results of everything.

I think I will spend the next 5 years just doing things. Not looking forward, looking now. Doing interesting things and trying to slow this whole 'time' thing down. Maybe I should try Oil of Olay?

Wednesday 7 May 2008

Cycling Etiquette 101

I've been cycling to work about 2-4 times a week now probably since about January. 


What I didn't realize initially is that daily commuter type cyclists have unwritten rules of the road that every commuter is expected to know somehow automatically. However I am beginning to get a handle on things and I am getting to grips with what is expected of me. 

So - as a little guide to those who are, like me, trying to get a little fitter and avoid wasted time sitting in traffic queues I have tried to come up with a little guide to cycling in the city:

CITY CYCLING TIP No. 1: The Duel

The first and most important etiquette which needs to be observed when taking to the road on a pushbike is the rule of 'The Duel'.

The way 'The Duel' works is that the moment that another cyclist comes into view cycling in the same direction as you, there is a unwritten rule that dictates that you must cease your usual morning dawdle and pedal like hell itself. If you are behind the other cyclist, you must speed up and put all of the effort you can into overtaking, this is when the duel challenge is officially issued. 

If you manage to sneak up on your opponent cyclist prior to them noticing your presence this should go relatively smoothly. Should the cyclist spot your attempt before you manage to get past, then he has the right to take up the challenge and should attempt to cut off your overtaking manouvre by increasing speed himself. Once past said cyclist, then you have the right to re-capture your breath and slow down to the other cyclist's annoyance.

You know those guys in cars who simply cannot drive behind other cars? You know the ones? Are you one of them? The guys who will drive up your backside whether it be motorways or 'B' roads, and then when they get the chance they will overtake you and then proceed to slow down to equal or less than your speed? This is pretty much the same thing, except it is cycling gospel.
Note that it is doubly important to attempt 'the Duel' should you percieve your opponent to have a worse bike and / or be more unfit than yourself.

CITY CYCLING TIP No. 2: The Tighter the Lycra, The More Respect

This rule is simple. If somebody has lycra on (or if your are a lycra wearer too, has tighter lycra than you), they are better cyclists than you, regardless of how much of their flab might be hanging out of the side of their lycra, how slow they are going, or whether they are having a minor heart attack. As such they are not to be challenged in a Duel. 

If this situation should arrive, simply slow your speed down to that of the lycra wearer and pretend that you cannot keep up. the same goes for those cyclists that you may meet with >$1,000 drop handle racing bikes. Their bikes are better than yours and therefore faster - so what gives you the right to overtake them?

This is the only exception to the rule of The Duel.

CITY CYCLING TIP No. 3: Speed up to Impress

When passing work colleagues / friends / girlfriends (note if you are married this is no longer necessary) / general hot girls it is essential that you do your bit for cyclists everywhere and make every effort to speed up to the maximum velocity possible whilst portraying the minimal amount of effort on your face. This will impress people and make you more popular around the office / with the ladies. 

CITY CYCLING TIP No. 4: Group Cycling Dynamics

When cycling in a group with friends / colleagues / partners etc, it is important that you never show any kind of strain on your face regardless of tired you are. Try to go a little faster than your usual speed so that you can tire your cycling companions where possible and say things like "I could do this route twice!" or "I can probably go faster because my bike is lighter"

CITY CYCLING TIP No. 5: Engaging in Conversation

When engaging in conversation with other bikers, it is important that you can talk their language. Simply learn the names of a few manufacturers of specific bike kit and talk about them incessantly as if it was only the tip of the iceberg of your knowledge. Marvel over the build quality of the 'Acme 4th generation titanium gear levers', and other cyclists will be eating out of your hands.

Sunday 4 May 2008

Iron Man is Rubbish

Went to see Iron Man last night. It was absolute rubbish.










Only joking it was really good. Just wanted to see how many bloggers I could enrage.

On another note:

Just read that Boris Johnson is the new mayor of London. Whats next Krusty the Clown for Prime Minister!?

I dont know - you leave the country for a few months ...

Saturday 3 May 2008

ETL (Estimated Time Until Lucy) - 34 Days

Its Lucy's birthday today.

Actually its not really Lucy's birthday yet, its about three in the morning for her, and as far as I know could be on a Saturday night out on the town with her friends. But it is her birthday for me, for I am 000's of miles away on the other side of the planet - where everything is upside-down and the time is 9 hours wrong.

But Lucy has finally booked her plane ticket out to Sydney, and the countdown to her arrival can begin with little over a month to go. It seems like a blooming long time, but then we will have effectively been apart for 8 months which has been pretty hard. And lets face it, with that amount of time to spare, I should really be able to get around to cleaning the toilet before she arrives.

So today as I am feeling a little bored and with nothing exciting to think about - I am writing one of the usual posts that I do when I have nothing excited to write home about: A dig into some of my old favourite photographs....


This was taken in the seaside city of Split in Croatia in 2006 I think. It was taken with my camera phone (not being a camera snob). 

You can just imagine what she was thinking about, the thousands of years of history, the wars, the celebrations that had gone into those beautiful ancient walls in Split's inner city....

... actually it was staged. I asked her to look vacant and stare up at the walls...

In other news, I put my bike helmet on yesterday and a cockroach fell out of it and ran down my back. Time to hoover the carpet methinks.

Update: for some reason blogger says it is Saturday when it is Sunday. I got excited at the prospect of an extra day off when I read it.